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Literature Text
"So then I said: your zoroark was framed? I knew it was all… an illusion." Cheren finished.
"Cheren… That was terrible." I snorted at his lame joke, but I found myself laughing anyway.
"Remind me again why I hang around you, you're so lame." Bianca snickered.
White pointed at him from across the table. "My god Cheren, you're so cheesy."
"Hey, I thought it was pretty funny." Cheren shrugged, taking a sip from his drink, "you guys just don't appreciate the fine art of joke-making."
"Yeah, right. That's the problem." I said sarcastically.
Cheren, White, Bianca and I all sat around a table in the middle of a fast food restaurant. We all went out for a bite to eat after work, sharing good times. N unfortunately didn't join us, for reason I was still unsure. I had called him and gave him directions to the place, but he said he wasn't feeling well, and didn't want to. I rarely hear him refuse anything, so I was worried. I wanted to hurry and get home, but on the contrary I wanted to stay with my friends. It had been a long time since I had spoken with them so freely.
"Like I said Black, can't see the fine art." Cheren retorted with a small grin.
"Speaking of fine art…. This burger is a piece of art in of itself." White commented, taking a bite of the greasy food.
Bianca curled her nose, "I think it's disgusting. All fatty and ew. White you shouldn't be eating so many carbs; you have a figure to keep." She scolded, taking a bite from her salad.
"Oh psh, I'll just go work out afterwards. Meet some hot guys at the gym; you should see the way they gawk." White replied, taking another huge bite or her burger. "Speaking of hot guys, Black, how come N isn't here?"
"Are you calling N hot?" I snapped, feeling more jealous than I should have.
"Maybe. He has a nice body. Why, do I suspect a spark of envy?" She sneered at me.
"Tch. Anyway. He said he didn't want to come." I answered her previous question.
"Why? Does he think he's too good for us?" Cheren commented curiously.
I shot a glare at Cheren, "Of course not."
"I was just joking Black, no need to be so defensive." He gestured his hands for me to settle down.
"Haha… Sorry." I replied. For some reason I got on edge when N became the topic of conversation. Because I knew I'd get questioned about my romantic life with him- if you would even call it that.
"Did you two do anything for Valentine's day?" Bianca asked curiously. I thought, thinking back to yesterday on the Ferris wheel. We ended up half-making out on the floor of the Ferris wheel, that is until N began to freak out when I slipped my tongue in his mouth, saying he didn't like it when things were suddenly put in his mouth- as if that were a regular thing or something.
"Well?" Apparently I was spacing out, because she began waving her hand in front of my face.
"Huh? No, why would we?" I snorted, taking a bite of my burger. White was right; it was good.
"He so did, he's just too embarrassed to say anything." White sniggered at Bianca, and they both exchanged meaningful glances.
"Am not." I said indignantly.
"Are too." White shot back.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Hey you two, we aren't five years old anymore." Cheren sighed.
"Tch, Cheren, you really need to lighten up. Anyway. While we're on the topic of relationships, how are you guys coming along?" White looked from Cheren to Bianca.
"White, that's none of your business." Cheren hissed, his face reddening.
"Oh calm down, Cheren. It's going fine, White." She reached over and pecked him on the cheek.
"afnekfnrfrv;;" Cheren completely froze. Bianca giggled at his reaction.
After this went on for a few more minutes, I checked my phone's time. I was surpsied how quickly the time seemed to have went. "Well, it's getting late. We should probably be going back home, Cheren."
"I could agree to that." He replied in a flustered voice, leaning away from a kissing and teasing Bianca.
"Well, I'm off to the gym to work off these carbs." White got up, "Gotta stay trim for my job. Let's go Bianca."
The girls left, Cheren and I on their heels. It was a short walk back to the apartment, but the entire time my thoughts were swimming with a combination of curiosity and worry. I was glad I had some time to chill with my friends, I felt calmer now at least, but I was still questioning why N didn't walk to join us. When I asked him if he wanted to go out with me and my friends, he always said yes. Well, why should it be this surprising? He was going out less and less. Every time we were out he only got more and more scared. It was maddening not knowing why. Why was he acting like this? Him never leaving the apartment; he was scared of something. And I wish he would tell me already before I pull my very hair out from the frustration-
"Black, you okay?" I heard Cheren ask.
"Huh? Of course I'm okay why wouldn't I be?" I replied quickly.
"You looked really distracted is all." He shrugged. When we were back at the apartment, Cheren swept away into the hallway claiming he needed a shower. I walked into the kitchen where N was hunched over the counter, furiously thrusting his arm. I would have thought dirty thoughts, but I smelled chocolate. I leaned against the counter next to him, seeing a bowl of jelly-like brown chocolate smelling substance that he was stirring.
"What are you up to?" I asked. N didn't notice I was there; he nearly jumped out of his skin when he realized I was next to him.
"Greetings, Black." He said, picking up a box and handing it to me. "I found a box of… pudding in the cupboard. I have never heard of it before."
"Never heard of pudding- you know I'm not surprised." I told him flatly. At least he didn't screw up anything in the kitchen, aside from the mess all over the counter.
"… I never had it before." N sighed, "I did not have it as a child. I did not have it when I was exploring Unova. I did not have it… while I was gone for those two years." His voice became quieter as he spoke.
"I get it, I get it. Sorry. So, how come you didn't want to come with us today? You said you didn't feel well, but you appear to be fine." I observed.
"Oh… I was just. I did not want to go, sorry."
"...Alright. But you missed out of some hella good burgers."
"I do not like meat."
"….Oh right." I mentally slapped myself for forgetting. I continued to watch him make the pudding, the way he stirred it was almost hypnotic.
"I think it's ready for the fridge." N stated, putting his finger into the jelly-like goop and taking a scoop. He licked it experimentally, then his face lit up. "It's…. It's so good!" he declared, sticking his finger into the bowl and scooping out another lick.
See, any other person would have seen N innocently taking a simple lick of chocolate off his finger. Nothing out of the ordinary. But to me, I saw it a bit differently, more slowly. His finger carefully being licked by his tongue before sticking it in his mouth and sucking the remainder of it off, curling his tongue around the appendage to make sure he got every bit of the sticky, slippery substance before slowly removing the finger, leaving a thin trail of silver salvia, all the while moaning about how good it tasted.
Yes. That is what I was seeing. And I felt envious of the finger, quite guiltily imagining it as another body part. And shit- what the hell was wrong with my mind?
"Black?" N asked curiously, looking down at me strangely.
He must have seen the way I was staring at him. I almost made a move but he must he recognized the look on my face because he took a step back. "Black, do… do not look at me like that…"
"How can I not, when you're doing that?"
"Doing what?" He asked innocently.
I could have torn my hair out, but I sighed, leaning against the counter and letting myself take control. But my traitorous mind made me think of it again, the way N suckled the chocolate off his finger caused an overwhelming wave down my body straight to my crotch. I was sure he was noticing it, because his eyes flickered down.
"Black, please do not do it again," I was sure he was referring to when I woke up to the end of a wet dream and began forcefully kissing him until he freaked out. I remembered clearly the look on his face, looking so scared, and saying afterward "I was… just remembering"
But what was he remembering?
"I won't. I have my head right now." I told him shakily. I barely had my head. I mean, I was standing in the kitchen getting an erection over N eating pudding. "But, I have a question." I said slowly, edging my way towards him.
He frowned, but didn't back away anymore, because he was against another counter. I put both of my hands on either side of him, looking up at his face with determination. I wanted to know the reason why he was always so scared. The things he said, his actions, his facial expressions that never seemed to reflection happiness. I was ready to tear my hair out in frustration; it was driving me to insanity not knowing.
"N. Will you please tell me why? Just, tell me why. Why are you always so scared? Why are you scared of me?! When have I given you a reason to fear me so much, when I've tried to help you...? I don't understand, and I want to." I tried to keep my voice controlled, but it was becoming an angry wail, all of my frustration was coming out at once. "I want to know! I want to help you! If I don't know, how can I help?- and don't tell me it's nothing, because no one is this fucked up for no reason!" I finished, frantically panting from my mini-rant. I couldn't even look at N right now; he was probably taken back by my outburst. But what he said next shocked me. In a calm, low voice he said:
"….Alright."
"Wait… what?" I glanced up at him.
"I… I will try and tell you… what happened…" He whispered.
"Cheren… That was terrible." I snorted at his lame joke, but I found myself laughing anyway.
"Remind me again why I hang around you, you're so lame." Bianca snickered.
White pointed at him from across the table. "My god Cheren, you're so cheesy."
"Hey, I thought it was pretty funny." Cheren shrugged, taking a sip from his drink, "you guys just don't appreciate the fine art of joke-making."
"Yeah, right. That's the problem." I said sarcastically.
Cheren, White, Bianca and I all sat around a table in the middle of a fast food restaurant. We all went out for a bite to eat after work, sharing good times. N unfortunately didn't join us, for reason I was still unsure. I had called him and gave him directions to the place, but he said he wasn't feeling well, and didn't want to. I rarely hear him refuse anything, so I was worried. I wanted to hurry and get home, but on the contrary I wanted to stay with my friends. It had been a long time since I had spoken with them so freely.
"Like I said Black, can't see the fine art." Cheren retorted with a small grin.
"Speaking of fine art…. This burger is a piece of art in of itself." White commented, taking a bite of the greasy food.
Bianca curled her nose, "I think it's disgusting. All fatty and ew. White you shouldn't be eating so many carbs; you have a figure to keep." She scolded, taking a bite from her salad.
"Oh psh, I'll just go work out afterwards. Meet some hot guys at the gym; you should see the way they gawk." White replied, taking another huge bite or her burger. "Speaking of hot guys, Black, how come N isn't here?"
"Are you calling N hot?" I snapped, feeling more jealous than I should have.
"Maybe. He has a nice body. Why, do I suspect a spark of envy?" She sneered at me.
"Tch. Anyway. He said he didn't want to come." I answered her previous question.
"Why? Does he think he's too good for us?" Cheren commented curiously.
I shot a glare at Cheren, "Of course not."
"I was just joking Black, no need to be so defensive." He gestured his hands for me to settle down.
"Haha… Sorry." I replied. For some reason I got on edge when N became the topic of conversation. Because I knew I'd get questioned about my romantic life with him- if you would even call it that.
"Did you two do anything for Valentine's day?" Bianca asked curiously. I thought, thinking back to yesterday on the Ferris wheel. We ended up half-making out on the floor of the Ferris wheel, that is until N began to freak out when I slipped my tongue in his mouth, saying he didn't like it when things were suddenly put in his mouth- as if that were a regular thing or something.
"Well?" Apparently I was spacing out, because she began waving her hand in front of my face.
"Huh? No, why would we?" I snorted, taking a bite of my burger. White was right; it was good.
"He so did, he's just too embarrassed to say anything." White sniggered at Bianca, and they both exchanged meaningful glances.
"Am not." I said indignantly.
"Are too." White shot back.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Hey you two, we aren't five years old anymore." Cheren sighed.
"Tch, Cheren, you really need to lighten up. Anyway. While we're on the topic of relationships, how are you guys coming along?" White looked from Cheren to Bianca.
"White, that's none of your business." Cheren hissed, his face reddening.
"Oh calm down, Cheren. It's going fine, White." She reached over and pecked him on the cheek.
"afnekfnrfrv;;" Cheren completely froze. Bianca giggled at his reaction.
After this went on for a few more minutes, I checked my phone's time. I was surpsied how quickly the time seemed to have went. "Well, it's getting late. We should probably be going back home, Cheren."
"I could agree to that." He replied in a flustered voice, leaning away from a kissing and teasing Bianca.
"Well, I'm off to the gym to work off these carbs." White got up, "Gotta stay trim for my job. Let's go Bianca."
The girls left, Cheren and I on their heels. It was a short walk back to the apartment, but the entire time my thoughts were swimming with a combination of curiosity and worry. I was glad I had some time to chill with my friends, I felt calmer now at least, but I was still questioning why N didn't walk to join us. When I asked him if he wanted to go out with me and my friends, he always said yes. Well, why should it be this surprising? He was going out less and less. Every time we were out he only got more and more scared. It was maddening not knowing why. Why was he acting like this? Him never leaving the apartment; he was scared of something. And I wish he would tell me already before I pull my very hair out from the frustration-
"Black, you okay?" I heard Cheren ask.
"Huh? Of course I'm okay why wouldn't I be?" I replied quickly.
"You looked really distracted is all." He shrugged. When we were back at the apartment, Cheren swept away into the hallway claiming he needed a shower. I walked into the kitchen where N was hunched over the counter, furiously thrusting his arm. I would have thought dirty thoughts, but I smelled chocolate. I leaned against the counter next to him, seeing a bowl of jelly-like brown chocolate smelling substance that he was stirring.
"What are you up to?" I asked. N didn't notice I was there; he nearly jumped out of his skin when he realized I was next to him.
"Greetings, Black." He said, picking up a box and handing it to me. "I found a box of… pudding in the cupboard. I have never heard of it before."
"Never heard of pudding- you know I'm not surprised." I told him flatly. At least he didn't screw up anything in the kitchen, aside from the mess all over the counter.
"… I never had it before." N sighed, "I did not have it as a child. I did not have it when I was exploring Unova. I did not have it… while I was gone for those two years." His voice became quieter as he spoke.
"I get it, I get it. Sorry. So, how come you didn't want to come with us today? You said you didn't feel well, but you appear to be fine." I observed.
"Oh… I was just. I did not want to go, sorry."
"...Alright. But you missed out of some hella good burgers."
"I do not like meat."
"….Oh right." I mentally slapped myself for forgetting. I continued to watch him make the pudding, the way he stirred it was almost hypnotic.
"I think it's ready for the fridge." N stated, putting his finger into the jelly-like goop and taking a scoop. He licked it experimentally, then his face lit up. "It's…. It's so good!" he declared, sticking his finger into the bowl and scooping out another lick.
See, any other person would have seen N innocently taking a simple lick of chocolate off his finger. Nothing out of the ordinary. But to me, I saw it a bit differently, more slowly. His finger carefully being licked by his tongue before sticking it in his mouth and sucking the remainder of it off, curling his tongue around the appendage to make sure he got every bit of the sticky, slippery substance before slowly removing the finger, leaving a thin trail of silver salvia, all the while moaning about how good it tasted.
Yes. That is what I was seeing. And I felt envious of the finger, quite guiltily imagining it as another body part. And shit- what the hell was wrong with my mind?
"Black?" N asked curiously, looking down at me strangely.
He must have seen the way I was staring at him. I almost made a move but he must he recognized the look on my face because he took a step back. "Black, do… do not look at me like that…"
"How can I not, when you're doing that?"
"Doing what?" He asked innocently.
I could have torn my hair out, but I sighed, leaning against the counter and letting myself take control. But my traitorous mind made me think of it again, the way N suckled the chocolate off his finger caused an overwhelming wave down my body straight to my crotch. I was sure he was noticing it, because his eyes flickered down.
"Black, please do not do it again," I was sure he was referring to when I woke up to the end of a wet dream and began forcefully kissing him until he freaked out. I remembered clearly the look on his face, looking so scared, and saying afterward "I was… just remembering"
But what was he remembering?
"I won't. I have my head right now." I told him shakily. I barely had my head. I mean, I was standing in the kitchen getting an erection over N eating pudding. "But, I have a question." I said slowly, edging my way towards him.
He frowned, but didn't back away anymore, because he was against another counter. I put both of my hands on either side of him, looking up at his face with determination. I wanted to know the reason why he was always so scared. The things he said, his actions, his facial expressions that never seemed to reflection happiness. I was ready to tear my hair out in frustration; it was driving me to insanity not knowing.
"N. Will you please tell me why? Just, tell me why. Why are you always so scared? Why are you scared of me?! When have I given you a reason to fear me so much, when I've tried to help you...? I don't understand, and I want to." I tried to keep my voice controlled, but it was becoming an angry wail, all of my frustration was coming out at once. "I want to know! I want to help you! If I don't know, how can I help?- and don't tell me it's nothing, because no one is this fucked up for no reason!" I finished, frantically panting from my mini-rant. I couldn't even look at N right now; he was probably taken back by my outburst. But what he said next shocked me. In a calm, low voice he said:
"….Alright."
"Wait… what?" I glanced up at him.
"I… I will try and tell you… what happened…" He whispered.
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Oh poor sex deprived Black.
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" walked into the kitchen where N was hunched over the counter, furiously thrusting his arm. I would have thought dirty thoughts, but I smelled chocolate."
